


If It Was A Snake

by whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome



Series: Country Boy I Love You [1]
Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Autistic Wayne, First Time, M/M, Wayne loves giving head, farm gays, hardly noticable at all, he's very orally fixated, teeny little bit of comeplay, well more like farm bisexuals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 18:30:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15492033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome/pseuds/whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome
Summary: T'woulda bitchya.





	If It Was A Snake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gosh_zillah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gosh_zillah/gifts).



> To: [gosh_zillah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gosh_zillah/pseuds/gosh_zillah), excellent all-around niblet. Just 'cos.

It took Wayne six months to figure out that he couldn't date someone in _Queue_ -bec. He would never leave the farm, his sister, or his friends. If she wouldn't move to Letterkenny, or at least southern Ontario, there was no way they could make it work.

The disappointment was rough, another dent in his armour, another heartstring cut. Wayne'd been looking for love since Angie left him, and while he'd found some good along the way, nothin' ever seemed to stick. It was hard not to believe he was destined to be alone. He wasn't sure how many more times he could go through building up hope before being crushed by the letdown.

Wayne was contemplating all this at the end of the day out in front of the produce stand, just him and Darry there. Katy was off getting good on her own and Squirrely Dan had a date with his sweetie. With a long, hot day of chorin' behind him, it was easy to kick off his boots and sit in relative silence with his best pal. One of Darry's finer qualities was he always knew when Wayne wasn't fit to talk. They had exchanged salutations as they sat down, and the usual howsyerbeers, pleases, and thank yous. But for the last hour or so, the only sound had been the cooler opening and closing and the soft gasp and hiss of a Puppers being opened.

Darry was feeling the loneliness too, what with things not working out for him and Anik, for pert near the exact same reasons that Wayne's own attempt at a relationship had gone tits up. He'd been real broken up about it, but Darry was the kinda guy that couldn't be kept down for long. He had a natural optimism that Wayne envied sometimes when Dar wasn't being a nutsack and talkin' daft shite. Still an' all, Wayne wouldn't trade Darry for anyone else as a best friend.

Wayne looked over to Dar, halfway to saying they should go in and get dinner when it hit him, like a bolt out of the blue. There sat Darry like always, but there must have been something about the angle of the sun and the colour of the light. It made Dar's hair turn orange'n'red and lit his pale, freckled face golden. His curls bounced a little in the breeze as it picked up. The light shone off each eyelash on his closed eyes. _Oh._

He sat frozen, unsure about how to proceed. What's a fella supposed to do when he's realised that his best pal can be real pretty? Wayne'd always known, in a sorta abstract way, that the potential was there, but there'd never been anyone to spark it off until now. Right at that moment, Darry's nostrils flared as he took in a huge breath. His eyes opened and he turned to look at Wayne, who noticed for the first time their exact shade of stormy blue.

‘Smells like rain tonight.' Darry holds his gaze, waiting for Wayne to respond.

 _Oh, Fuck._ Wayne feels like all the air has been knocked outta him. He clears his throat and turns to face forward, blinking furiously. He takes a couple tries, but manages to croak out, ‘Hey, Darry.'

‘Wayne?'

‘Dijyas ever notice how sometimes you'll be lookin' fer a thing and you just can't find it? Like, y'pert near tear apart the whole house lookin' fer it and no matter where you look it's still not there? So y'keep lookin' and lookin' and lookin' until you're about ready to just give up on the whole damn thing, and that's when y'sees it. It was right there in front of yer face the entire time. If it was a snake, t'woulda bitchya.'

‘You still mad I made us late to the Ag Hall meeting last week?'

‘Mmmmmno. I only brought all that up to say, I think I found something I been lookin' fer.'

‘What, d'jou lose your keys, too?'

‘Hard no.' Wayne paused and swallowed before continuing. ‘I think I love you, Darryl.'

‘Well, I love you, too, hun. We've been best pals since kindergarten. Hell, I used to call your parents Dad an Ma like they's was my own. And you called my Mumma your Mumma, too.'

‘That wasn't quite what I meant, Darry.'

‘Well, then I'm confused. What did you mean?'

Wayne stood up out of his lawn chair, took two steps to stand in front of Darry, and held out his hand. Darry looked at it for a couple of seconds, trying to puzzle out what was going on.

‘Trust me?' Wayne asked.

Darry instantly stood up and slid his palm against Wayne's own in the solid handshake that was as good as currency among farmers. ‘With my life,' he said. No hesitations, no questions, only unreserved loyalty.

Wayne pulled Dar close, so close their chests were almost touching. He watched Darry's face for any kinda reaction as he leant in and waited for a hot second to see if Darry would pull away. When he didn't, Wayne leant in the rest of the way and kissed him. It was a closed-mouthed press of lips on lips, but it was no less sincere for it. Wayne lingered a bit before re-adjusting and fitting them together a little more snugly. He laid his other hand on Darry's waist and kissed him again. Wayne kissed Darry's top lip, then the bottom one, and then the corner of his mouth before Darry started kissing him back.

Wayne relaxed and opened up to Darry, deepening the kiss and humming as Dar dropped his hand to wrap both arms around him. They traded several more kisses back and forth until Darry laid a hand on the back of Wayne's neck and pressed their foreheads together to catch his breath.

‘Well, okay then,' Dar panted. Wayne smiled and tightened his hands on Darry's back where they'd slipped around from his waist. After Dar caught a second wind they resumed their previous activities until Darry pulled back with a small hum and said, ‘But, wait. We're straight.'

Wayne scrunched his face up and cast his eyes toward the sky, blinking quickly. Sure enough, rain clouds were gathering dark and thick on the horizon, lit up by the setting sun slanting golden rays across the landscape.

‘Well…'

‘Since when?!'

‘Well, that's a tough question to answer Dar. Up to this point, it's all been…' Wayne trailed off, rotating one hand in the air, searching for a good word. ‘... _theoretical_ ,' he decided.

‘Does anybody else know?'

Wayne hesitated for a fraction of a second before admitting, ‘Katy.'

‘And you weren't ever gonna tell me?' Darry asked, hurt that Wayne would keep this from him.

Wayne looked back to Darry and said, ‘It's not like there was anything to tell, Darryl. This has never happened before.' He kept his voice low and soft like he didn't want to spook Darry.

‘The kissing?'

‘The _wanting_ to.' Wayne slid his hands up Darry's back and hugged him closer.

‘ _Oh._ ' That was a revelation. Darry mulled that one over for a moment. ‘How did you know, then?'

Wayne shrugged. ‘Just did. A feeling. Like, well, anything's possible, isn't it?' It certainly was now Wayne's horizons had expanded to include his very best friend in the world.

‘I s'pose. I'm not sure how I feel about all this.' Darry had never considered any of this before, especially not as it related to himself.

Wayne brushed a curl back off Dar's forehead. ‘Well, no one expects ya to have it all figger'd out right this instant. We've got time.' Seeing the sweet look on Darry's face, Wayne couldn't help but give him another kiss. That bit at least worked for both of them. His heart started beating faster and his breath got shorter and the feeling of Darry pressing all up against him lit his skin on fire. Wayne broke off to collect himself before he started taking his shirt off right there in the laneway.

‘Well, so, like. Whadda we do now?' Darry said between heavy breaths.

‘Well I was gonna suggest dinner before you said it smelled like rain, but now I'm thinkin' we might could go upstairs and do some hands-on figg'ring it out. If you're agreeable, that is.'

‘ _Oh, Fuck._ I'm agreeable.'

‘You wanna do some toe-curling?'

‘I could curl some toes, and I don't mean maybe.' Dar gripped the front of Wayne's jeans. ‘Pitter patter.'

Wayne shivered. 'Let's get at 'er.'

They closed up the produce stand and carried the coolers inside before heading upstairs to Wayne's room. Wayne pumped the brakes so they could both go scrub their hands and get the ground-in dirt out. He was horny, not stupid.

After that, it was tarps off. Wayne's penchant for wearing shirts that snapped instead of buttoned served them well, as did the fact that they'd both taken their boots off when they were outside. Wayne started kissing and nibbling on Darry's neck, making him arch against Wayne and gasp. Wayne's senses were full of the smell of Banana Boat and the salt taste of Darry's skin and the pressure of his best pal pressing into him.

One of Dar's hands wrapped around the back of Wayne's head, encouraging the attention being paid to his neck, so Wayne bit down and sucked a mark there, making Darry gasp and moan and writhe. Wayne slid a hand into Dar's shorts and grabbed a bum cheek, pulling their hips together and setting up a rhythm. A minute or two of that had Darry's engine cranked into high gear and he tumbled them into Wayne's bed, yanking Wayne back on top of him.

Wayne kissed down Darry's front, pulling Dar's shorts down as he went and kicking them off the end of the bed. He remembered what Darry said about kissin’ around the genitals making him ticklish and insecure, so he went right for the goal and took Dar's prick straight into his mouth, pushing back the foreskin and sucking hard.

Darry reared up off the bed with a mighty ‘Woah!', causing Wayne to back off and look up at him.

‘Are we gonna have a problem, Dar?' The words were fighty, but the tone was concerned.

Darry swallowed and said, ‘Not as such, no, but you don't have to do that. I figger'd we'd just be usin' our hands mostly.'

‘I _like_ givin' head.' Wayne was as petulant as the time Darry had swiped his unicorn lolly at the fair when they were seven.

‘You said you'd never…' Although, thinking now about the shape of the lolly...

Wayne squinted hard at Darry. ‘You can give head to girls, Darry, and if you think you can't it's no wonder you haven't ever kept a sweetie fer long.'

Darry took a bit of umbrage at that. ‘Three things: number A, is _now_ really the time to be chirpin' me about my bedroom manners; number B, I have definitely gone down on my lady friends and don't you forget it, I'm not the type of prick to expect her to lavish me with that sort of attention without reciprocatin'; and number C, I was specifically talking about knob-gobbling. It's a very different manner of thing than dining on _eine fraugarten_.'

Wayne backed down and relaxed. It was better to sort out this out now, with a minimum of fuss. ‘I _like_ to use my mouth Darryl, and I wanna give you a hummer. Is that ok? Or would you like to do something else?'

‘Just as long as you want to. I don't want you to feel like you have to, or anything.' Darry placed his hand on Wayne's jaw, sweeping his thumb along his cheekbone. He was only tryin' to make sure they weren't gettin' ahead of themselves, pardon the pun.

Wayne made his voice all soft and said, ‘Thank you for checking in. May we continue?'

Darry took a moment before deciding. ‘As you were.'

Wayne gave him a playful shove back down onto the mattress. ‘As _you_ were,' he said, smiling.

He could feel Darry shift up onto one elbow to watch as he picked up his pal's prick and popped it back in his pout. Dar was right, it was very different than giving head to a girl but damned if it wasn't getting him every bit as worked up as Darry was. Everything about it was incredible; the heat and weight of it on his tongue, the stretch of his lips around the shaft, the slickness building up and spilling out of the corners onto his hand, making slippery work for jackin' Darry along with the up-and-down movement of his mouth. He started off slow and built a rhythm he felt he could manage for a while before his jaw would start to ache. It weren't nothing fancy; a simple solid combination of suction and motion like he'd enjoy himself. Wayne made the occasional detour to pay special attention to the frenulum, which was also something he enjoyed.

Darry made a noise like someone'd punched all the air outta him and reached out his hand and threaded his fingers into Wayne's close-cropped hair. Wayne was surprised at how good it was, the heaviness of Dar's hand holding his head; not pushing or pulling, but simply resting there for the sole purpose of touching him. He gave a contented hum at the feeling which pulled a breathy ‘ _Oh fuck,_ ' out of Dar. Well, that put a new tool in Wayne's toolbox.

The longer he worked Darry over, the more into it he got. One of his hands was occupied with stabilising his current mouthful, but the other was free to roam, so roam it did. Petting Darry's splayed open thighs was lovely, as was sliding his hand up from the knee and feeling the crisp light hairs curling up under his palm. He kept sliding his hand up until he could cup Dar's sack and run his thumb over each ball and down the seam between to press into the spongy flesh behind them. That caused Dar to gasp and cuss and jerk his hips up into Wayne's mouth, hitting his palate hard. Wayne coughed a little, but he could also feel his prick rock hard and drooling for it so. You learn something new every day.

Wayne looked up at Darry just to see him. His face was all scrunched up, flushed, mouth open a little bit, leaning back on one elbow. The image made his heart clench and his dick jump at the same time. He moaned around his mouthful and swallowed deeper, prompting Dar to thrust again, turning it into a whole cycle. Pretty soon Darry was trying to push him back.

‘Wayne, Wayne, I'm gonna, I'm close…'

Wayne tapped Dar on the thigh and when Dar looked at him he flipped his hand palm up and twitched his fingers back towards himself twice, _C'mon, do it, give it to me._

Darryl came with soft little _ah, ah, ah,_ sounds, barely audible over the slurping and the rushing, plugging sound of swallowing in Wayne's ears. He kept sucking until Darry begged him to stop, pushing him off again. Wayne had to take a moment after that, eyes closed and stock-still, to make sure he wouldn't go off himself the moment he moved. Dar flopped back, throwing an arm over his eyes and breathing like he'd run a marathon.

Once Wayne was sure he could shift without embarrassing hisself, he crawled back up the bed and cuddled up to Darry, kissing his shoulder. He slid one leg over Dar's, careful not to poke Darry in the side too much.

‘Jesus _fuck_ , Wayne. If that was your first effort, you're gonna be a health hazard when you get some practise. Your mouth should come with a warning label. _Advertissement_ : May cause heart attack.'

‘'You sayin' you enjoyed yourself?' Wayne smirked.

‘I may never recover.' Darry surprised Wayne then by rolling toward him and kissing him deep and true. He hadn't figured that would be on since most people would consider it gross. Apparently, Darry didn't give a care. Wayne was glad of it since he loved kissing; part of being orally fixated, he supposed.

They made out as long as Wayne could stand before pulling Darry on top of him and pushing up against his belly. He was so slick from leaking all over the damn place that he could just slip-slide away against Dar's abs.

Darry pulled back to ask, ‘Is this how you want it?'

‘Jesus Christ, Dar, anything, please,' Wayne begged, strung out and desperate.

Darry hitched one of Wayne's legs over his shoulder and pulled his hips up by the bum cheek to press harder against Darry's stomach. Wayne cried out with each thrust, but it still wasn't enough until Darry used his other hand to jack him. Wayne shot off like a rocket, hitting himself in the face with the first volley and getting it pert near everywhere else including Darry's hair after that. Dar pulled every drop out of him, squeezing him through every pulse until he thought he might pass out.

Dar collapsed on top of him and Wayne wrapped his arms around Darry's waist to hold him close. For shits and giggles, Dar licked the spunk up from where it had landed on Wayne’s own cheek and kissed him hard again, sharing the taste of it between them. Wayne's brain shorted out for a brief moment at the sheer _hotness_ of it.

‘Well, _fuck_ Darryl. I mean to say… Well, _fuck_. If I hadn't've just finished… _Fuck_.' Wayne wished they could go again straightaway.

Darry rolled his tongue around his mouth a bit before saying, ‘I can see why most folk object to it, but I guess it don't bother me that much. I mean, I wouldn't want it on my chips or anything, but it's not the worst thing I ever tasted.'

‘We are gonna sixty-nine _so much_ ,' Wayne blurted out with an uncharacteristic lack of brain-to-mouth filter.

‘Okay, hun,' Darry teased. ‘Already makin' plans for the future then? Got our china pattern picked out and all?'

Wayne blushed up scarlet, clashing horribly with his hair. ‘Way to ruin the afterglow, Big Shoots,' he muttered.

‘Aw, Darlin' no, c'mere,' Darry said and hugged him close. ‘It's cute. I like it. I'm not allergic to being super-soft like you are.' He ran his hand through Wayne's hair and kissed him again and again until Wayne relaxed into it. ‘So I guess this means we're goin' steady?'

‘I guess so. I'd like to. What about you, Dar?'

‘I'd love to be your Sweetie, Wayne.'

‘Glad that's settled, then.'

‘If you try to shake my hand right now, I will _strike you_ in the genitals.'

‘That's a far cry from stroke, Dar.'

‘Wouldn’t that be a pickle.’


End file.
